Weekend Not Without Its Entertainment

Over the weekend I experienced large amounts of visual entertainment. Friday gave way to the Broadway "musical" Movin' Out. Lets get this out of the way, it's not a musical. That is a filthy lie. Had I known this, I may have been more inclined to enjoy this three hour opus. Oh it has music, constant music, and dancing, constant dancing. No dialogue, no real semblance of a story. It is a string of Billy Joel hits. They are good (because I am a long time/grew up on fan of Billy Joel). This is combined with the choreography and direction of Twyla Tharp. Oye. Well, yes, she is an accomplished member of the artisitic world, cudos for being a big name. However, much of the dancing resembled a first round dance audition for a high school play in which they ask you to "move to the music around the space."
This ballet was not without its moments. The role of Brenda was played by a very talented and very tall, attractive brunette. The character of Eddie had a countless number of mimed fits of rage because of this and that which were pretty funny to watch. However, I very much doubt that he intended his character to be funny. I caught a combo of cheerleader combos, West Side Story, prat falls, car choreography, and mime among the constant dancing.
All and all I was disappointed in the pairing of Mr. Joel and Twyla. Those two should never had met up. The combo resulted in tough, meaningful 70s-80s lyrics reduced to Riverdance.

Sunday the roomies and I decided to pull off another switcheroo at the movie theatres and see two for the price of one. I would suggest never trying this in Evanston. The theatre is divided into two guarded sections with two large areas to pay and two large concession mazes all equipped to confuse you and cost you a lot of money.
But we saw two movies anyway.
Before even seeing a movie though, I started with some drama. The Evanston 12 theatre concession stand it constructed like shit. First it has a coffee/smoothie bar in the center of a ginormous room. Next you have the popcorn which can be purchased from a warming cabinet or from the dude behind the big glass case of popcorn. I opted for the dude and ordered a small bag of popcorn with light butter. Down the row is the soda station either in the self-serve or the girl-serve option. I ordered a medium Cherry Coke from the girl. I then made my mistake.
I asked her if I pay here or somewhere else, very causally, not too demanding or weird. She informed me that I pay on the other side of the room. Ok, sounds good. After a couple seconds she semi-goes off on me about the fact that I asked her if I pay her Did it look like she had a register? Apparently people asked that all the time and she's not trying to be rude or nothing but does it look like she has a register? I apologized and walked to those that had a register to pay for my snacks before the soda girl's head started spinning around.
Not to be outdone, the register area had its drama. This older guy grabbed a box of almonds from the unguarded candy racks. He saw that I saw him grab the almonds so he jets behind me to the back of the line. Seconds later I see him get out of line and join some kids at the condiment area.
He stole some crappy movie theatre almonds! I had to laugh just a little.
The first movie of the day was the much critic hated on Elizabethtown. It starred Orlando Bloom in a role that was a break from his epic historical/fantastical dramas. That role was Zach Braff in Garden State, only sucky-er. Kirstin Dunst plays his Natalie Portman but struggles so much with a southern accent that I wanted to press the mute button everytime she talked. It was a your everyday story: guy disconnected from his family goes home because of a parental death, finds out he is disconnected from his own life, meets a kookie girls, figures some stuff out. The End.
I liked only three things about this movie:
1. Bloom-er was wearing a shirt in the movie that I myself own.
2. Ryan Adam's Driving All Night Long played for like ten seconds.
3. It finally ended.

The second movie of the afternoon was A History of Violence.
The day redeemed itself with this movie. Viggo Mortensen and Maria Bello play this small town couple, in love, with a family, and a small business. It turns out that Vigg-ster is a kick ass fighter but no one knew until they tried to fight him and then wound up dead. I won't say anymore than this because it would be a spoiler and you should see it. It plays out like a sweet ass short story that has artsy characteristics and good acting. And some pretty interesting sex scenes.
So the day ended $22.75 plus two train rides later with this conclusion...
See A History of Violence
F#$* Elizabethtown
The workers at Evanston 12 need some couch time because they are angry.

bye

nate

Late and F@#$&D

So its last night... I get off work at the club early and head home. I leave early because I have the last step in my quest for employment at the Cheesecake Factory the next morning at 8:30 in the AM. I set my alarm for 7 and hit the pillow at like 3ish.
So its this morning... I wake up from a dream and glance at the clock. I close my eyes again for a second and after that second am flying through the air, cell phone in hand, one leg in white pants, freaking out. It is 8:55 in the AM. I call the restaurant... I freak out... I don't make excuses... I get a break. In two days I get to take the menu and handbook test, by myself, no help or moderator, but I get to take the test.
Mission for this afternoon - buy a frickin alarm clock that works. It might have to be ceremoniously smashed a la Office Space tonight.
There is nothing more humbling then being a complete dumbass and having nothing to blame but yourself.
Any interesting close call stories where you almost lost a job because of something stupid, let me know.
And now....
List of Tid Bits!
~ John Cusak was in the club last week
~ Saw the Broadway "musical" Movin' Out this weekend... review to come.
~87 degrees - 40 degrees- 50 degrees- 75 degrees- 50 degrees Fall...what the f#%k!

bye bye

nate

A Rant: White Pants

Alright, so one of my three new jobs is serving at the Cheesecake Factory (sounds familiar, no?). As many of you know the uniforms consist of the following:
white shoes
white socks
white dress shirt
non-clip-on tie
and white pants

Now I'm a guy. I'm a guy living his mid-twenties in the year 2005. I haven't seen guys wear white pants since Miami Vice. Then it was cool. Then it was driving around in a boat hanging out with my friend who flew a helicopter.
But the GM says its a clean look. Yeah it's a frickin' clean look before you work a bunch of shifts around grease, dirt, and FOOD.
Ok, I can try to make my peace with the required uniform. So I head out downtown today to what I thought was a busy city shopping area...
Oh, on a side note, my GM joked during orientation "I know, no white after Labor Day!" Ha Ha HAAAggrrrr... Damn right no white after Labor Day. Listen funny man, stores pull their spring/summer fashions right around that Monday we have off in the beginning of September. Therefore no more white.
I went to many stores. And by many I mean like 10. I found white pants for 93.00. I found white tuxedo pants, sweat pants, baseball pants, and one pair that was fairly see-through. Unless seeing my boxers will get me better tips, I'll pass.
I finally found a pair of white jeans at the Levi's store. It was one of fifteen pairs in the whole store that were white. You know, for a store that is solely jeans, couldn't they make them a bit more comfortable?
So I have my clean look for my first day at my new waitering job. We'll see how long it takes for "clean white" to become "food stained grey".

How about black pants folks, that might look nice.

bye

nate

Crash and Burn, and then again

So this weekend my roommate and I went out to one of the many Chicago movie theatres. We devised this plan of buying a ticket for one movie, watching it, then sneaking into another movie. It was genius.
Much like one of my favorite blog type website, I promise no spoilers.
This was an event of airplane movies. It started with Flightplan starring Jodi Foster.
Here is the movie.

Jodi Foster: Where is my daughter?
Jodi Foster: (with increasing intensity) Where is my daughter?

Literally, that was it.

I was real angry that I spent 9.50 for this overly advertised piece of crap that wasted 2 hours of my life. And the downtown Lowes doesn't have stadium seating. What kind of big budget theatre is just a big ol' room with chairs?

Still offended by the shit I had just seen, I quickly followed my roommate into the next theatre. The next cinematic opus was Red Eye with Rachel MacAdams.
Here is the movie...

Bunch of predictable action scenes.
No explanation for any detail.
No back story.
Big ass bazooka.

This one was only a tiny bit better, only because Rachel MacAdams is hot.

More quippy movie review as I see more movies.

bye bye

nate

Cheap Rent, Burial Plot View

So I was walking around one.....of the days I walked around...and I passed by what looked to be an old folks home. Actually I passed through it, for some reason the courtyard is directly connected to one of the neighborhood sidewalks. Anyway, it was a series of moderately tall building that I thought might have been dorms except for the large amount of really old people slowly moving around and staring at me like I had just entered their living room.
I figured with all those looks and my age and everything, I should probably get out of there. But the whole place was surrounded by a black, iron fence...the kind with big spikeys on top. Apparently the old people were just getting the urge to do a full sprint out of this place and they were losing them, thus the fence (that's probably not true.)
I finally found an exit to a main drag so I could get home.
But across the street from this retirement dorm community was this big ol' cemetery. I almost burst out laughing at the sheer inappropriateness of the proximity (bigg werds are funn). You have to figure that the cemetery was there first, so some brainiac either decided that this would be the perfect spot for an old age area or that these already existing buildings were a good place to move the old age dorm to. Either way these old people are looking out there window thinking, "well, at least I don't have far to travel"

and then they go do a keg stand or something else dorm-ie.

On a different note, a guy tried to get in to the club last night. He didn't want to pay the cover so he was bargining with us by saying he comes in all the time.
He said he definately knew me for a long time. Me. For a long time. As in over a year.
Man my four shifts working at the door must have been dooseys.

Bye

nate

In Da Club

So last night work was pretty nut bar. (For all those who don't know, my current employment is at a swanky night club, working security.) There was a shit ton of people upstairs making it tough to find a place to stand and watch the crowd, which is pretty much the bulk of what I do there.
The biggest and only negative drama happened about half way through the night. This punk looking guy came over to me and told me that a guy had locked himself in the bathroom stall. I went to check it out, brought another guy with me, door still locked, no one coming out, tension mounting. After about 20-25 minutes, this was now an issue. Four of us security guys went to the bathroom, calling out, banging on the door. We were anticipating a passed out drunk, or someone hurt, or drug consumption of some sort. A wire hanger was fashioned into a key and the lock was picked. We open the door and....

nothing, the toilet was broken.

So much for the night's drama.

The only other exciting thing that happened was that Jenny McCarthy and her entourage showed up. It was surprisingly large group of people I didn't recognize surrounding her, her sister, and I assume her husband. At the end of the night while security was busying ourselves with getting everyone out the door by 2, Jenny seemed to vanish.

I guess when you become famous, you get some kind of cloaking devise that gets you out of clubs without being seen.

I can't wait to be famous.

bye bye

nate

Hurricane Dizzle

On a recent web surf I came upon the list of names from the National Hurricane Center. There's no real formula for chosing names other than assuring the names are short, easy to remember and pronounce, and dupication is kinda frowned upon.

Turns out, I could be coming to a coastal region soon. In 2005, the Atlantic names have both Lee (my middle name) and Nate. The Eastern Austrialian list has Nathan on it but 22 hurricanes have to blow through before it hits. It's actually kinda creepy to think of all the papers and news channels possibly calling out my name...

and I didn't even win an award yet.

Here is the list... http://www.nhc.noaa.gov/aboutnames.shtml

The humidity is crazy lately. I've come to the conclusion that the midwest has two seasons: summer and winter. But mid-nineties in the middle of september, there should be some sort of law again that. Why do I live here again?

Bye

nate

I'll never start a Blog....

...so here it is.
I figure this will be the spot where you all come for wisdom, enlightenment, or general unnecessary information.

So I've been here in Chicago for two weeks now. I have a one night a week job so I can't afford anything yet, doing anything in this potentially awesome city takes money which I have none of

so I've been watching a lot of tv.

There's this thing you can order called the mattress genie. It's this inflateable blue pyramid type thing that costs 90 bucks which pushes your existing mattress up a couple degrees like one of those hospital beds without having to buy another bed. They even throw in a devise to turn your mattress into a massager. To me this is a hundo that I have to spend to put exposed electrical wires and a flammable balloon in my bed for me to sleep on.

I can light myself on fire with an 89 cent bic lighter just as easily thank you very much.

bye bye

nate